A man was really stressed and his wife put her foot down and finally made him do something about it. She told him he needed to buy a pet because she read that pets reduce stress.
So he takes an Uber to the pet store and is greeted by the owner, a very attractive woman.
Surprisingly, she suggests buying a couple dozen snails because they are very relaxing.
After the purchase they continue talking and things heat up and she asks him to come upstairs to her apartment.
They make love all afternoon and evening, and he falls asleep in her arms the most relaxed he’s been in some time.
About 2:00am he wakes up freaking out because his wife will be furious. Since it’s so late the pet store owner offers to drive him home. He grabs his box of snails and they take off.
She drops him off a block away and as he’s walking up the drive he trips over a garden hose and the snails go flying.
He gets to his feet and sees his little snails on the ground around him. At that moment his wife throws open the door, mad as hell, and yells “where have you been?”
He looks at her and then back at his snails and says, “Come on little fellas we’re almost home, good job guys, we finally made it.”