Lil Johnny is walking a sheep through the town.
The Mayor stops and asks Lil Johnny what he is doing.
“Silly Billy has a boy sheep and I’m taking our girl sheep to his ranch to get her pregnant,” replies Johnny.
The mayor thinks this is a bad idea and tells Lil Johnny that this is a job his father would be better off doing.
“Nah,” Lil Johnny says,
“I’ve seen dad trying quite a few times and our sheep hasn’t got pregnant yet.”
Little Johnny Was Sitting In Class
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally.
The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?”
And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!”
And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.”
Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?”
and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!”
And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.”
Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says,
“If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!”
And the teacher faints.
Little Johnny likes to gamble.
One day, his dad gets a new job, so his family has to move to a new city.
Johnny’s dad thinks,
“I’ll get a head start on Johnny’s gambling.”
He calls the teacher and says,
“My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow, but he likes to gamble, so you’ll have to keep an eye on him.”
The teacher says, “Okay,” because she can handle it.
The next day, Johnny walks into class and hands the teacher an apple and says,
“Hi, my name is Johnny.”
She says, “Yes, I know who you are.”
Johnny smiles and says,
“I bet you $10 you’ve got a mole on your b*tt.”
The teacher thinks that she will break his little gambling problem, so she takes him up on the bet.
She pulls her pants down, shows him her b*tt, and there is no mole.
That afternoon, Johnny goes home and tells his dad that he lost $10 to the teacher and explains why.
His dad calls the teacher and says,
“Johnny said that he bet you that you had a mole on your b*tt and he lost.”
The teacher says,
“Yeah, and I think I broke his gambling problem.”
Johnny’s dad laughs and says,
“No you didn’t, he bet me $100 this morning that he’d see your a$s before the day was over.”