We all had that one BFF growing up in the ’90s — that one person we’d have late-night phone calls with, gossip with about how strict our parents were, coordinate outfits with. And when you think about best friends in the ’90s versus today, you realize that a lot has changed, but the fundamentals remain the same: you still spend late nights on the phone with your BFF and you still gossip with her. You also still coordinate outfits but then pretend it was a total accident. Really, things aren’t all that different after all. We’re just older and drink way more wine.

Best friends are the siblings we never had. Or maybe we did have siblings but we just didn’t like them very much. While your siblings stole your favorite toys and ran around outside with your training bra on your head (*cough* happened to a friend…), your best friend was the one you’d make prank calls with, and the shoulder to cry on when you caught your crush holding hands with some other chick on the playground.

We wouldn’t be where we are without our best friends — both back in the ’90s, and to this day, even though times may have changed a little.

1 The Fights We Get Into

In the ’90s: Your BFF totally promised to take care of your digital pet while you were away on vacation, and then she let it die. You couldn’t look at her the same after that.

Today: Adults don’t actually fight anymore. Instead, we leave passive-aggressive comments on Facebook and purposely don’t like each other’s Instagram posts.

2 How We Make Up Afterward

In the ’90s: This was the pre-smartphone era; so getting through a fight with your BFF usually involved passing her a note in class, complete with lots of frown faces, dotting the i’s with hearts so she knew how sad you were without her, and ending it with “LYLAS” — “love you like a sis,” for anyone who forgot how we used to abbreviate stuff.

Today: The peace offering frequently involves a $12 Starbucks coffee drink and a smiling selfie of you two together to put the past behind you.

3 Friday Night Entertainment

In the ’90s: We’d head to the mall and buy fake nose rings from Claire’s, right before sneaking into an R-rated movie. We were so bad.

Today: Who goes out anymore? Not us. Give us something on Netflix to binge watch and a bottle or 12 of wine, and we’re good to go. Can you say FriYAY?

4 Playing Wingwoman

In the ’90s: After determining who the love of your life was using the almighty cootie catcher, you’d stage a run-in during science class, while your BFF kept other girls away.

Today: Every BFF knows the way to help you find lasting love: spending 14 hours trying to find him on Facebook with nothing but his middle name.

5 Squad Goals

In the ’90s: Basically, life was all about finding three more girls as cool as you so you could pretend to be the Spice Girls.

Today: Well, the good news is you only need one more person to do the Single Ladies dance, but you’re not much of a people person these days, so your BFF is more than enough.