Recent years have seen a significant rise in awareness surrounding mental health. As a result, recognizing signs of depression has become easier, with certain words and phrases often serving as key indicators.
Identifying Depression in Others
Mental health, particularly depression, is incredibly complex. It takes years of study to fully grasp how trauma, human interactions, and brain chemistry contribute to mental health conditions. While experts dedicate their careers to understanding these issues, compassionate professionals have shared valuable insights over time. These insights often gain traction during Suicide Awareness and Prevention Month, helping people recognize warning signs in loved ones—or even in themselves.
Common Phrases That May Indicate Depression
“Always” or “Never”
Everyone experiences frustration and stress, occasionally resorting to extreme or absolute language. However, individuals struggling with depression often fall into a persistent pattern of **“all-or-nothing” thinking**. Their speech may revolve around negativity, making conversations feel heavy or draining.
“The frontal lobes of the brain are negatively affected when depression occurs,” explains Dr. Deborah Serani. “Therefore, judgment, thinking, and reasoning are impaired, which can lead to all-or-nothing thinking.”
Fortunately, as symptoms of depression lessen, thinking patterns usually become more flexible. “Most depressed individuals, upon recovery, gain a broader range of solutions, improved judgment, and less rigid thinking,” Dr. Serani adds.
“I Can’t”**
Depression can make even the simplest tasks—getting out of bed, brushing one’s teeth—feel impossible. While acknowledging one’s limits is a sign of good mental health, depressed individuals often use **”I can’t”** to express their overwhelming sense of helplessness.
“A lot of depressed individuals also use the word ‘can’t’ frequently,” says Dr. Serani. “‘I can’t feel better. I can’t get my work done. I can’t get out of bed. I can’t make things right.’ The illness of depression has foreclosed the possibility of many, many things.”
“It’s All My Fault”
Taking responsibility for one’s actions is important, but **excessive self-blame** can be a sign of depression. Some events are simply beyond an individual’s control, yet depressed people often blame themselves for everything—even things that were unpredictable or unavoidable.
“Depression creates a pattern of negative thinking because the illness impairs frontal lobe functioning, where reasoning and judgment take place,” Dr. Serani explains. “Many depressed individuals feel overwhelming guilt about their emotions.”
She warns that these thoughts can escalate into suicidal ideation. Many believe they are a burden to their families and loved ones, thinking, *If I’m gone, I won’t be a burden anymore.* Dr. Serani stresses that this type of thinking should never be ignored.
“I’m Fine”
This is one of the most common responses when someone is struggling but unwilling to open up. Many people with depression **mask their pain**, often due to stigma or fear of being a burden.
“Some may find the stigma of having a mental illness too shameful to deal with, and many will wear a smile on their face instead of revealing their enormous pain,” says Dr. Serani.
“I’m Tired”
While everyone experiences fatigue, depression brings **persistent exhaustion** that doesn’t go away with rest.
“Fatigue, aches, and pains are linked to the inflammation that occurs with depression, as it affects neural pathways and neurochemicals,” Dr. Serani explains.
“I Want to Be Alone”
It’s normal to seek solitude occasionally. However, people with depression tend to **isolate themselves entirely**, withdrawing from friends, family, and even activities they once enjoyed.
“The neurobiology of depression significantly reduces brain activity, leading individuals to avoid stimulating experiences. A depressed person will often seek out darker rooms, quiet spaces, and isolation,” says Dr. Serani.
Ironically, the very experiences they avoid—social interaction, fresh air, and engaging environments—are often what they need most.
“No One Cares”
Depression often distorts perception, making it difficult for individuals to feel hope or connection.
“Depressed individuals experience tunnel vision when it comes to holding onto hope for the future—again, the frontal lobes of the brain restrict problem-solving and reasonable judgment,” Dr. Serani explains.
This feeling of isolation can lead to emotional detachment, where they struggle to care about others’ problems and, at the same time, believe no one cares about them.
Seeking Help & Providing Support
If you or someone you know is experiencing depression, there are **many forms of support available**. Treatment may involve therapy, medication, lifestyle changes, or a combination of approaches.
It’s important to remember that depression affects people differently—there’s no single cause or solution. What’s universal, however, is the need for **love, patience, and compassion** from those around them.
Supporting a loved one with depression may sometimes feel overwhelming, but strong, healthy relationships require mutual effort. Building a community means uplifting one another—while also taking time for self-care. By finding balance, we can support each other while maintaining our own well-being.