Perspectives

I Refused to Give My Ex-wife Money for Food for Her and Our Kids as I Discovered Her True Intentions

In November 2023, an anonymous man shared his story on the “AITA” subreddit, detailing a complex situation involving his ex-wife’s plea for assistance. Despite their divorce and subsequent remarriages, the man maintained 50/50 custody of their children, aged 15 and 12. When his ex-wife faced financial hardship after her most recent husband left her, she reached out to him for help with groceries.

Initially considering the request, the man ultimately decided to offer his ex-wife a generous supply of food from his freezer and pantry, including elk, venison, wild hog, and various other meats. However, instead of accepting this offer, his ex-wife requested cash for takeout, which the man declined, insisting that he had provided ample food for her and the children.

The man’s refusal to provide cash led to accusations from his ex-wife, who accused him of expecting gratitude for what she perceived as “scraps.” Despite standing firm in his decision, the man found himself at the center of controversy, with some criticizing him for not meeting his ex-wife’s request for money.

However, most commenters on the internet sided with the man, deeming him “NTA” (Not The A**hole). They praised his approach of providing food rather than cash, likening it to buying a meal for a panhandler rather than giving money directly. Many expressed confusion over his ex-wife’s reaction and supported his decision to prioritize his children’s well-being.

In my opinion, the man was justified in refusing to give money to his ex-wife. He demonstrated genuine generosity by offering a substantial supply of food to help alleviate her financial struggles, particularly considering his responsibility for their children’s welfare during his custody periods. If I were in his place, I would likely have taken a similar approach, prioritizing practical assistance over cash handouts.

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