Reddit user HallNum032 turned to the community for advice after he couldn’t deal with his 16-year-old daughter’s attitude.
When she started hanging out with a different group of friends at school, he noticed a change in her behavior. The father was the first to admit that his daughter had once been polite.
He and his wife believed that she had begun to adopt the attitudes of her new friends, who were perceived as cruel, and eventually, they had had enough.
The polite, soft-spoken young girl they knew was no longer their daughter.
She began making disparaging remarks about other people’s appearance and possessions.
A worried father took his daughter aside several times to talk about her misbehavior because he was worried about how his daughter was developing. He even acknowledged that her attitude had an adverse effect on those around him.
Their maid was one person who was consistently influenced by her daughter’s actions. “My daughter singled her out for criticism of her hair, clothes, and ‘etiquette,’” the man said.
Their housekeeper complained to her superiors that their daughter called her derogatory names until she couldn’t take it anymore. Even the dirtiest parts of their house were cleaned by their helper, whom she would describe as “dirty” and “gross”
The way his daughter was acting made her father feel ashamed. He stood up and threatened to punish her if she committed one more offense against her maid, which she did not want to happen.
A few days later, she went to her father and said that despite looking everywhere, she couldn’t find her phone.
After such a strong warning, he thought she would finally listen. But when his daughter insisted she called their assistant “dirty”, the 16-year-old was grounded. The teenager lost his cool and started calling the maid a liar.
She was supposed to attend a party that day, but her father forbade her to go because of what she did. Furious, she held the maid responsible for her failure to leave the house.
A few days later, she went to her father and said that despite looking everywhere, she couldn’t find her phone. The girl asked her father to call her, and he obliged. To their surprise and to his wife’s surprise, the maid’s bag contained a phone.
He went straight to their maid and she angrily denied any involvement, sobbing that she never touched the phone and had no idea how it ended up in her bag.
At that point, the daughter continued to refer to their maid as a “thief.”
The father motioned the daughter to go to her room. Little did the junior in high school know that her father would grow suspicious of her for her actions and take steps to try and find out the truth.
What were the consequences of the Redditor discovering the real “thief”?
Before deciding what to do, HallNum032 looked at their security camera. What he saw amazed him. The father watched his daughter put the phone in the maid’s backpack. The father was furious with his daughter for deceiving the blameless lady.
He apologized to their maid and gave her the rest of the day off before confronting his daughter. When he played the video for his daughter, she was at a loss for words. Deciding to speak for himself, the Redditor remembered:
“I said what she did was immoral and downright offensive, manipulating that poor woman’s livelihood for a petty party she couldn’t go to.
This man had run out of things to punish his daughter with. Because she was afraid of germs, he decided to force her to sleep in their backyard, knowing it would teach her a lesson.
He refused to give up, even as his daughter cried and begged him not to make her sleep in the dirt, threatening to last two nights if she disobeyed. The man’s wife advised him to be gentle with their daughter.
He refused to back down, saying that cursing people and accusing them of stealing was wrong and that their daughter needed to learn a lesson. HallNum032 posted his story online to determine the morality of his actions.
How was the Redditor’s story received by others?
The parent was told that this was one way to teach their daughter a lesson, and that was all that was needed. But others questioned why he didn’t choose an alternative punishment, such as making her clean the house or confiscate her phone.
He admitted that he had already tried them all. His daughter ended up in the emergency room for low blood pressure after she deliberately stopped eating for several days to avoid a homework punishment. While one believed the parent was right, another believed they should have given their assistant a paid week off.
Rather, she was to be replaced by the man’s daughter and receive no compensation for her work. Another reader believed that the father was right to punish his daughter with a “harsh” consequence that would make her face reality and that he should have made her work as a housekeeper for two weeks. Another reader said:
“The punishment does not fit the crime.”
A Redditor suggested that selling the child’s phone and giving the proceeds to their assistant would be a more appropriate punishment. Additionally, they believed that a daughter’s punishment should consist of housework, community service, or housework.
Someone who disagreed with the parenting method of disciplining his daughter felt it was not fit for a crime. Rather, they thought that the phone should have been taken away from the child for a year and a half of grounding, during which she performed assistant duties.
“Buy her a Nokia cube if she needs a phone to keep in touch with her.
During this time, the assistant would be placed on paid leave. Furthermore, the social media user thought the teenager should be grounded for the next month to protect her from her destructive friends. The reader also thought the girl was “manipulative” when she stopped eating to avoid chores.
They believed that HallNum032 should have starved the girl and stopped when she saw that the desired result was not achieved. The parent was supposed to threaten the teen with hospitalization for anorexia if he insisted.
While some disagreed with the father’s actions, they felt that the punishment would not magically change his daughter’s behavior. They believed that a child’s lying, blaming her extra, and treating her as an “inferior being” were symptoms of more serious problems.
“In the complex landscape of parenting and discipline, HallNum032’s narrative highlighted the complex and often challenging dynamics in family relationships, particularly when it comes to adolescent behavior and appropriate disciplinary measures. The story sparked a wave of conflicting views and fueled debates on the fine line between punishment and learning, highlighting the complexities of leadership among teenagers through stages of rebellion and defiance.
The father’s decision to use unorthodox disciplinary measures and let his daughter sleep in the backyard caused mixed reactions. Some saw it as a strict but effective measure meant to teach a valuable lesson about responsibility and empathy. Others have criticized this and advocated alternative disciplinary approaches that focus on understanding and communication rather than isolation and physical discomfort.
But at the heart of this story lies a larger social conversation. It asks questions about the complexities of modern parenting, the evolving dynamic between children and adults, and the impact of external influences such as peer groups on adolescent behavior.
HallNum032’s Dilemma is thought-provoking about the multifaceted challenges parents face in shaping their children’s values and behaviors. It emphasizes the need for open dialogue, empathy, and understanding of the underlying issues that can lead to such drastic actions by teenagers. It’s a reminder that the journey of parenthood is often filled with difficult decisions, seeking a delicate balance between discipline and understanding.
Ultimately, while the resolution in the HallNum032 household remains a private matter, the debate it sparked reflects the broader societal challenges parents face in the complexities of raising and guiding teenagers during their formative years.”