Perspectives

I Refuse to Help My Pregnant 19-Year-Old Daughter Raise Her Baby

When you become a young parent, you should be aware that sometimes you have to face additional challenges that not everyone can deal with. A mom turned to Reddit, asking if she was in the wrong after she told her teenage daughter that she wouldn’t help her raise the baby she was expecting.

Here’s what she shared:

My 19-year-old daughter, Rose, was always a smart girl. She did well in school and got a full ride to a great local one. She’s been living with me and doing well with her studies.

She got this new boyfriend a few months ago who I don’t like. He constantly lets her down but covers it up with a big smile and grand promises. Despite my warnings, they’re still dating, and now she’s pregnant. I offered to pay for the abortion and take a few days off work to take her and help her recover.

She said no. She’s going to marry her boyfriend, and they’ll be one big happy family. He wants to move into my house, and she’ll drop out of school while he works to support them. He’s a bartender who doesn’t go to college. I laughed at this idea, which made her mad.

She told me that since he can’t move in I’ll need to step up and help with the baby more. Y’all, she has always been a very sensible child, I don’t know where this all has come from. I flat out told her that if she thinks she’s grown enough to have and raise a child and get married then she needs to move out soon and manage being an adult with the child’s father.

I raised the one child I wanted. I do not want any more children living in my home. I told her I’d pay for diapers here and there, and I’d still visit her, but this baby is 0% my responsibility. If she chooses adoption, which I’m pretty sure she won’t, I’d be willing to help her navigate that.

She won’t talk to me. My husband (her stepdad) is staying out of this but thinks I could help more. I told him he’s welcome to go over and babysit for her and that shut him up.

I had my daughter when I was 19. I was married to her father who was in the military. I still graduated from college on time at the age of 22 and everything worked out well for us until he died in service. I believe the fact that it worked out okay for me is clouding my daughter’s judgment. Her boyfriend can’t even offer her or her child health insurance. It’s a completely different scenario.

So many of you are suggesting I still let her live with me and keep the baby. This is not happening!! I do not want a baby in my home, period — and I’m not babysitting either. I’ll do normal grandparent stuff like show up to birthday parties and buy gifts here and there, but that’s it.

What do you think about this situation?

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