Trust is complex. Some hesitate because they’ve been hurt. Others distrust because they know their own flaws. Meanwhile, some trust too freely, believing in the good in people. No matter where you stand, trust is essential for relationships. The key is learning who truly deserves it.
10 Red Flags That Someone Can Not Be Trusted
Trust is key in any relationship, but sometimes our instincts warn us about someone. Certain behaviors can signal that a person may not be reliable. If you notice these red flags, it might be wise to be cautious about what you share with them.
1. Inconsistencies
They frequently change their story, make empty promises, or tell half-truths. Their words and actions don’t align, making it hard to believe them.
2. Lack of Accountability
They never admit when they’re wrong, constantly make excuses, or blame others for their mistakes. A trustworthy person takes responsibility for their actions.
3. Breach of Confidentiality
If someone shares private information about others without permission, they will likely do the same with your secrets. If they gossip about others, they will gossip about you.
Another way to look at this is this: Does this person ever tell you any personal secrets? Or is it only ever information about someone else? This ties into the next red flag: Gossiping.
4. Excessive Gossiping
People who enjoy spreading rumors or discussing others’ personal matters often disregard trust. Even if they consider you a close friend, they may still betray your confidence.
5. Manipulative Behavior
They use guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or emotional blackmail to control situations and people. If they twist the truth to suit their agenda, they cannot be trusted.
6. Lack of Empathy
A person who shows no concern for others’ feelings or struggles will have difficulty maintaining genuine, trustworthy relationships. A lack of empathy often leads to selfish and deceitful behavior.
7. History of Betrayal
If someone has repeatedly broken trust in the past, it’s a strong sign they will do it again. While people can change, their past actions are usually the best predictor of their future behavior.
8. Unreliable with Commitments
They cancel plans frequently, fail to follow through on promises, or only show up when it benefits them. Dependability is a key factor in trustworthiness.
9. Excessive Secrecy
While privacy is normal, extreme secrecy or evasive behavior may suggest they have something to hide. If they never share personal details but pry into others’ lives, that’s a warning sign.
10. Lack of Integrity
Constant lying, cheating, or pretending to agree with everyone can indicate dishonesty. Someone who always says what others want to hear may not be genuine and could be deceiving multiple people at once.
The Four Cues That Someone Is Lying
Beyond general red flags, specific behavioral cues can indicate dishonesty. While no single cue guarantees someone is lying, noticing multiple at once may signal deception.
- Leaning Away – Physically distancing oneself during a conversation suggests discomfort or a lack of openness. This can indicate emotional detachment or an attempt to hide something.
- Crossing Arms – This defensive posture often signals guardedness, making it harder to establish trust. It may indicate someone is feeling defensive or concealing information.
- Touching the Face – Frequent face-touching, especially during a conversation, can be a sign of anxiety or unease. While not always linked to dishonesty, it often suggests nervousness.
- Touching Hands/Fidgeting – Excessive hand movements or fidgeting can be a subconscious way to self-soothe under stress. This nervous behavior may indicate discomfort or deception.
The Bottom Line
While these cues don’t always mean someone is lying, they can serve as warning signs. Trust is built on consistent actions, open communication, and shared values. Being aware of red flags and behavioral cues can help us navigate relationships more effectively.